E108: Standing in Your Authority

**This episode was transcribed by Otter.ai, so please forgive any spelling errors.

Unknown Speaker 0:00

Hi, welcome back for another episode of the Loveish Podcast. I am super excited today because this is a rerelease episode, meaning just the first portion of this episode will actually have a video attached to it. The rest of it will be an audio episode. You can still watch it on YouTube, but we just don't slap a picture up there. Now, why am I re releasing an episode as opposed to recording a new one? You ever create something or do something that's just so fired at you like, oh, oh, I gotta run that back. Okay, that's what happened with this particular episode. And y'all know, it's not me, okay, it comes straight from the Holy Spirit. That's what I did is flow from, but that was always fire. Okay, so fire that I had to run it back. It's an episode from January and it's called standing in your authority. And I thought it was important because, again, the doors to the 24k Club are open. Okay. It's member only it's exclusive invitation. And I would love to invite you to become our next member. But first, there are some things that you got to learn. And even if you're not ready to join us inside of the 24k Club, this episode is still for you. Okay? Because y'all know we talk about mental, physical, spiritual and financial. So even if you're not ready to give it 24k club, but chance, even though I think it's dope. I think if you listen to this episode, you probably should go ahead and check out the page at least and see if it aligns with where you're at in this season. But even if it doesn't align with where you at in this season, you can still get something from this podcast episode today. Because what we're talking about is about your relationships, standing in your authority in your relationships, in your work setting, in your business, in your home, in your marriage, in your fill in the entire blank. Okay, so what's in my mug this week, we got the Haibo cup. And as you can see, I'm like real fall colors over here, right? Because I know some of y'all love summer but knee. I'm ready. Okay, fall is my favorite season. Okay, while they're ready, we are back to the snickers coffee, and I say that without shame, honey. And I'm gonna go ahead and toss it in right here. What I've been loving honey is the butter glosses. Okay. And yes, we have four of them on deck because Monjo business and yes, they are all new foods. Okay.

Unknown Speaker 2:37

We gonna start with this clear worm, sugar glass. I just, I gotta have my lips together. Okay, so this is what I've been loving sugar glass. And then our next lightest color of the butter gloss is going to be salty Coco. We love her. She's a cute color as well. And then our next one is going to be angel food cake. We love her. She's a nice little color. Bring a little bit of pink to you. Right now I'm actually wearing the salty Coco so y'all can see this is I love nudes for black girls for melon native skin, honey. And then our last one here that I'm loving is the rocky road color. She's good for fall, so I can't wait to bust her out for fall. So that is what I've been loving this week. The butter glosses if you have not been put on game with the butter glosses, go ahead and check them out. Go to your local Target. Go to your local also check it out. Okay. And we are going to have a word from our sponsor for this episode. And then we are going to jump right on into today's episode and I'll see you back next week.

Unknown Speaker 3:55

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Unknown Speaker 5:00

Are feels clouded with self doubt.

Unknown Speaker 5:03

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Unknown Speaker 5:26

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Unknown Speaker 6:29

You're listening to the Loveish podcast and I'm your host Dr. Sita hood, Vision architect and licensed therapist. Each week, I'm going to help you to develop the belief and strategy necessary to make an immediate impact on the world by deep diving into topics like mental wellness, faith, relationships, and you guessed it love. I should mention before we happen to the show, this is not a substitute for a relationship with a licensed therapist. You ready? Let's get it

Unknown Speaker 7:08

Hello, hello. Welcome back for another episode of the Loveish Podcast. I am your host, Dr. Sita hood, and I couldn't be happier to be on these airwaves with you. How are you feeling at the time of this recording? It is January in Illinois, the snow is falling. I know

Unknown Speaker 7:33

those who have like a long commute or have to drive in the snow. We don't enjoy driving in the snow but maybe part of you is loving that it's snowing because it looks so beautiful.

Unknown Speaker 7:47

I think the snow looks so good. Like visually, but driving it it. That's a whole nother issue because you got black eyes you got folks slapping around not paying attention excetera. But anyway, if you don't live in a cold state, I would love to know what the weather is like for you. I talk to people all over the world. And when I tell some of my Cali people shout out to my Callie people

Unknown Speaker 8:20

that it's snowing. Sometimes I turn the camera around for them to see what it looks like outside and they are like oh my god, I would love to experience that. I'm like, huh

Unknown Speaker 8:35

it's all good, though. It's all good. How are y'all feeling? How are you feeling this week? what's in your mug? Where are you at? Do a quick body scan, I'm not going to run you through a body scan. I'm gonna let you do that on your own. Today I want to talk to you about standing in your authority. So very much like the snow you got to be bold, you got to stand in your authority, you got to do what you need to do. Because the snow does not ask for permission to fall. The snow don't care. If you call it don't care about no black eyes. You don't care about what you put outside it don't care, especially in Illinois, the snow do not care if your birthday is that day, if the weather was just 50 something degrees yesterday, the snow was like oh me, often a turn up. And you have to stand in your authority with that same boldness, not caring about those little hindrances. You should care of course about people. You shouldn't care about your impact. You should care about the things that God calls you to care about. But you cannot care enough to use it as an excuse to block the expression of your purpose. So you shouldn't be carrying to the point that it hinders you or a block

Unknown Speaker 10:00

asks you for moving forward. I was consulting with a client on one of her upcoming program launches. And she had a really important meeting coming up. And, you know, she was telling me about phase one of her meeting. And, you know, she's like, I walked in, and I'm nervous, and I'm talking to these guys and their faces are all balled up. And, you know, just kind of working through the resistance that she was experiencing from a company that she was working with. And she was talking about how achy that felt. And I told her, they know that they need to reprogram, but they're supposed to be a little bit resistant. This is part of the process, because babies don't like baths. And I'm saying the exact same thing to you today, the way that they've been going through life and experiencing life is not working. That's why they need you. This is why I talk about the power of your voice, the power of following your vision, honing in on your vision for this particular client, she was talking about completely transforming the way that this

Unknown Speaker 11:11

place this company did this particular thing. And in her head, she saw it completely different from the way that it had been run for years. In her head, she saw how to solve this really big issue that they were facing. And when she first had her conversation with them. Obviously, she intrigued them enough to get another meeting, and to get on their calendar. So she's in this meeting, and she's doing her thing, and she's met with resistance. And how many times do you feel like Oh, my God, I'm in my element and walking in my purpose. This is what God created me to do. And you come up against resistance. And because you come up against that resistance, you're like, oh, Nah, maybe I'm going in the wrong direction. Maybe I need to fast for 92 more days, maybe I need to pray before I move. Maybe I need to do this. But I want you to remember, the people whose lives you're helping to transform, they're supposed to have questions. They're supposed to not be okay with every part of the process, because it is a different part of the process. It is a transforming that is taking place. Even you listening right now, I know that everything I say on this podcast, you're not 100%? Like Yes, girl, yes, you'd be a little bit resistant. Sometime, you'd be looking a little bit sideways at the, you know, you're listening device. And you'd be like, Okay, I want to jump out with that one. I know. And you're supposed to be that way. Because why I'm sharing new information with you, I'm helping you to understand an alternative perspective that maybe you've never seen before. And so if you think about babies and baths, you have to do your job as a caretaker for the baby, you have to turn them to the mirror, gently show them their dirt and put them in the tub. And somewhere along the way, you make it fun for them. You showed them like, hey, you know what, your hands don't need to be so sticky. This is why you can't pick up your crayon and color properly. But if we put you in this bath water, I can clean all that off for you. And then your hands will be fresh, your skin doesn't have to feel so cracked and dry because we got to put some lotion on it afterwards. Because they're gonna keep having issue, issue, issue, issue issue. And a baby doesn't believe that washing their hands will take the stickiness off their hands so they can play properly. They don't know that. It's your job to show them that and your clients are the same way your audience is the same way you are the change. They never knew that they need it. But you can't show them that you're that change. You can't show them that your vision is different. You can't show them that you're different. If you're too afraid to make them cry. If you're too afraid to get their hair wet. If you're too nervous about getting your clothes a little bit wet, too. But this process that time, this process transformation, this process, this cleansing, this newness, this fresh smell this fresh outlook, it's messy. It is messy. It's messy to get down in the trenches with people. It's messy to share parts of your vision. It's messy to walk in your vision, you're going to trip you're going to make mistakes, you're going to fall along the way and that's okay. That's part of the process. If we think about it sometime, you know when you're giving a kid a bath they start splashing, so oh my god

Unknown Speaker 15:00

ain't your eye, it just depends. It's all part of the process. And when the soap splashes on you or gets in your eye, what do you do? You take a clean towel, you wipe off your face, you either tell the kid in the bathtub, slow down on the splashing, or stop splashing, you might distract them with something else. But you give them a tool to help meet their need. Because you already know, I've been through this process, I know what happens when you hit the water too hard and water goes everywhere. It's not that you can't have fun. You just got to do it in this contained environment in this contained process. So when you're talking to people that are resistant, no, it's not that you can't drink your water, go to the gym, eat well practice mental wellness and do all these things. It's not that you can't do those things. I'm just going to show you an alternative perspective for how to get that done. If you recall, last week or two weeks ago, we talked about routines. In the episode for life strategies. For creatives, I gave you a different way to do the things that you want to do.

Unknown Speaker 16:19

Part of that process, again, is going through the process and seeing what works for you, and what does not work for you. Don't be afraid to stand in your God given authority and be who you are, you were created the way that you are created intentionally with a purpose. And honestly, that purpose is going to be offensive to some people. It just is. So you have to get over yourself. Get over you know your uncomfortableness with the expression of your quirks. You just got to get over that. And fully shine fully show up fully be present fully enjoy the moments, be who you were created to be be who you are called to be stand in your authority. When I say that, the expression of your purpose is going to be offensive to people. I don't mean, you know, intentionally offending people, you know, but if part of you standing up for something that God told you to stand up for is offensive, then so be it. You cannot back down based on somebody's hurt feelings. So, what does it look like to practically stand in your authority? Because I think we hear people say that all the time.

Unknown Speaker 17:47

You know, standing your power on your power all these things, right? But what does that look like to standing your God given authority? What does it look like to be in position, confidently leaving space for people to ask questions. This is not the time to be nervous. One of the things that I love when talking to somebody new is when they've done their homework on who I am as a person. I love that. Because I do my homework on everybody that I decide to work with everybody that I decide to invest my money, not the people that work with me, the people that I choose to invest my money, the people that I believe God called me to allow to pour into my life, I'm going to do my homework on them. Because I need to know what it is that you have. And I need to feel assured that you can meet my need. So when I talk to people, and they're like, Oh, I stumbled across your podcast, I stumbled across your video, I read your book, I saw your website, whatever the case is, I'm like, Yes, you gotta do your homework. I love it. And I love for you to do your homework because it means that you're prepared, it means that you already know what you're going to get. Sometimes when I have people call me. And they haven't seen anything. I direct them to my YouTube, I direct them to my Instagram, because I want you to get a glimpse of my personality, I want you to get a glimpse of how I work with people. And I want you to be sure. And in order to be sure people have to ask questions. They have to know that there's space for them to ask a question, space for them to be unsure about a thing permission for them to exist permission for them to be themselves and to show up in whatever state they can with whatever capacity they have at the time. So asking questions about who you are, what you do, how this is helpful, why they should pay this much how you can do x, y, z and what's the point of that? They're asking a question for clarity, more

Unknown Speaker 20:00

Most often, most often if somebody is, if they are your target population, or the people that you want to work with, or whatever, they're asking those questions to gain clarity. So don't be nervous. Nine times out of 10, you already know the answer to their question or you have enough authority enough experience enough of a unique spin on whatever it is that you're offering, that you can figure it out, don't feed into the presentation or how they asked the question. Look for the underlying concerns, speak to the underlying fear. So for example, you know, if I have somebody come to me and say, Well, I'm a little bit nervous about, you know, working with you actually, in my therapy practice, I do have people do this sometimes.

Unknown Speaker 20:58

When they're on the call, I've tried virtual therapy before, it doesn't work for me, I'm not really sure. And I say, well, that's totally fine. I completely understand that I know the preference of wanting to be in the office, why don't you go and take a look on my social media? Why don't you go and take a look at YouTube and see what you see get to know my personality, I can tell you that I will be fully invested in our call, I'm going to treat you with the same level of respect that I would treat you if you were sitting in front of me. And I give people the opportunity to do that. And I say, you know, I'll follow up with you in a day or two. And sometimes people don't even want to get off the phone. They're just like, well, I like your personality, I'm willing to try. And we try it. And then other times, people need to do their homework, and they circle back. And sometimes they don't circle back. And that's okay, maybe they've determined that it wasn't a good fit. And if it wasn't a good fit, I would rather that they go about and connect with somebody they feel like is a good fit, rather than trying to force a square into a circle. So you have to be okay with that. But you look for the underlying concern, and you speak to the underlying fear. So in that situation, what they're saying is, potentially, that therapists they've had in the past through virtual therapy, maybe have not made them feel as though they were paying attention. Maybe they felt like the therapist was distracted. And that's part of the reason why they don't like it. Or it could be that people were around them, and they don't have a safe space to do therapy, I've had that as well. And so I just kind of speak to all of that when a person is talking about wanting to do therapy, but not wanting to do virtual therapy, because it's a very real thing. I don't want to bear my heart in front of all these people that I'm about to be talking about.

Unknown Speaker 23:01

So speak to the underlying fears, speak to the underlying concern, be bold, be confident, and work with them to figure it out. Present your brilliant idea. If somebody has an issue, if somebody has a problem, and you see how to solve it, if you can be helpful, present your idea, you hit different, your voice hits different. So when somebody asks what you do and how you do it, tell them I was nervous to call myself a vision architect at first because I was like, Ooh, they're just like, since I think it does. This is why I'm going in this direction. Because I'm really good at seeing resources and strategies for people. And this is what people always compliment me on. They always say, Oh, my God, Sita, you know, you are so good at finding things like how did you find this? Wow, that's such a good idea. So I help people solve their problems. I help people to create strategies, I help people to navigate through life transitions. And the moment that I confidently presented and was like, Yeah, Dr. Sita hood vision architect. People were like, Yes, I didn't even know I needed a vision architect in my life, but come through, I'm really hoping that you can help me and nine times out of 10 Those people walk away satisfied. In fact, I don't know if I have ever come across a person

Unknown Speaker 24:38

that has not been like yes, that's a good strategy, right? And it's not me. First of all, it's the Holy Spirit. That's number one is the Holy Spirit. But also, the answer is often right in front of them often right in front of you. I'm just helping you to pull it out helping you

Unknown Speaker 25:00

You draw it out. So present your brilliant idea doesn't matter who's doing it, how they're doing it when they're doing it, present it, you hit different your voice hits different. You are always going to hear me hype you up, likes the weedy and don't just say I'm on hyper every time that's my friend, she's been down since the jellies and the bulk bows, okay, I'm not about to go out through that, but, but I'm gonna hype you every time. I'm gonna hype you every time. Simply because you do have a gift, you are special, you do belong. You do. And the world needs you. And the world needs your voice. We need you to come out of hiding and do what you were meant to do. We need you to embrace your quirks. embrace those weird parts of you the parts that you think you have to hide from people. And we need you to stand in your authority.

Unknown Speaker 26:04

It's time to talk about what I've been loving product recommendations, shout outs to family and friends and overall gratitude. Let's get into it.

Unknown Speaker 26:15

Hey, welcome back for another episode or segment of what I am loving. I am loving the beauty in the simplicity of the snow today. I think that God's creation is intelligent and beautiful and works together so seamlessly. And it's amazing to behold. And I think that we don't do it enough. Yeah, God is so dope to have created all of this in this way. If it's snowing where you are today, I want you to just stop and observe the snow. Just observe the snow. Now again, you might remember at the beginning of this episode, I don't like to drive in the snow. But I like to look at the snow. And obviously I'm not gonna lie on the spot guys, because we believe in keeping it real. Okay.

Unknown Speaker 27:07

I am not happy every time it snows. But that's beside the point. Right now. I'm loving the simplicity of the snow. And when you look at the snow, when you pause and you look at the snow, you go outside, I want you to remember, the snow does not ask for permission. It just does its thing. And that's exactly what you need to do. Standing your authority show up. Do your thing.

Unknown Speaker 27:31

All right, I want to thank you so much for joining me for this episode of the Loveish Podcast. Today we talked about standing in your authority and how when you experience resistance, it's actually okay because it is your job to turn the mirror on your audience and show them why you need to help them see a different perspective. Help them understand what is happening and why it's okay to let go of the resistance. And we talked about how to stand in your authority in the second part of this episode. I hope you enjoyed today's episode. If you enjoyed share the love share with a mama share with your auntie share with your best friend and then head on over to Apple podcasts and leave us a five star review reviews help the podcast to grow. Well that is all I have for you this week and I will see you out on the social media streets

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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